The Yuccas

As you enter our home, a charming rental house with more room than we're used to, you will notice my flailing attempt at indoor foliage in the form of two Yucca plants purchased from Lowe's. The Yuccas -- one tall and one short -- were purchased in the same pot, and therefore share a pretty new pot in which they should be greeting those who walk through our front doors with warm liveliness.

However, the smaller yucca is not doing so well. For whatever reason, she -- I've assigned it a feminine pronoun -- keeps losing leaves and the ones that stay attached are browning. I tried giving her more water. I tried giving her less water. I tried giving her more sun. I thought maybe the cats were to blame, so I twirled the pot out of their reach of her. Still, she drooped, inconsolable, while the big yucca stayed green and tall and happy.

I began tearing off her dead leaves a few days ago, hoping if I just took away the brown ones, all the pretty new ones that haven't grown yet would have more room. When I was done, she looked like a soggy stump. "Buck up Little Yucca!" I said, wondering what could possibly be wrong with her. I looked angrily at Big Yucca, with all his pretty green leaves, and blamed him, saying, "You're sabotaging her!" Then, for whatever reason, I slapped Big Yucca.

Big Yucca, whose only alleged indiscretion was being a beautiful, successful yucca plant, was undaunted by my physical assault, and continued being a beautiful, green yucca plant, dispensing lively, warm greetings to anyone who walked through our front doors.

I, on the other hand, realized I had just attempted to instigate a brawl with one of my house plants, on behalf of one of my other house plants. Could it be I was relating a little too much to Little Yucca's droopy predicament? If so, how pathetic. I am not Little Yucca! I can choose not to be droopy!

So, a few days later, Little Yucca is still a soggy stump, sharing a pot with a thriving Big Yucca. I have three days off, during which I intend to act nothing like a soggy stump. I'm going to make my surroundings more beautiful. I'm going to get out of the house and enjoy myself. I'm going to be lively and warm like Big Yucca, except, you know, human, with legs and stuff.

Buck up, Little Yucca!